Wide Eyed and Independant Events
I was standing and killing two birds in one stone, those people in the hey days would say. Firstly increasing self proclaimed stature of looking good to a level of acceptable level and secondly, focusing being beyond that nice looking guy to a preservere, energetic and able to generate words with such enigma.
What really astonish me though when some one didn’t follow the same order (having the look first, and beyond later). From a generally average looking guy, there’s this one guy who manage to silence the room without bombastic words; rather precise and short words. He ends his presentation with a smile and showing utter disregard to approval of any sort. As if the MC approval and buy-in is not that important. It is his honesty and presenting-not-creating that seemed to be the aura that reduce benign effects.
This is a wide-eyed surprise moment for a rigid advocate of the visual management. I always taught that drive and passionate by looking professional is always the best way of conveying ideas. It seemed like it wasn’t the case now. Or rather with some people, it just not in their blood.
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Tags: master, skg12
Is it the idea for a new song
There will be a time when the stars shine awkwardly, refusing to show its glimmer of hope. I feel bad as i thought i was destined to be that strong. Seemed all self-preached motivating words i keep in my mind did not work. I’m too weak to react.
Something to ponder because i’m used to be strong and ignorant. Guess its time to sit down and get lost. This portion is not mine to make good with. This story is not mine to be told with. The pain of losing the glory.
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Tags: band, music, song
2 Years in the Rock City
This coming 2nd September, i’ll be clocking 2 years of working experience and living abroad peninsular. A lot has happen, but i’m not too sure if i’m going wiser – particularly since my wisdom teeth has been removed (ouch) a fortnight ago.
In terms of living life to the fullest, i’ve no doubt i got nothing to regrets. Coming to Miri in 2nd September 2008, the first thing i remember doing is celebrating Eid here.
Hari Raya Aidilfitri – Oct 2008
Freshly outta school, not having enough money for a flight home, some works piling up all lead me celebrating it here. Now I thinking back it is such a crazy moves since i’ve never celebrate raya without my family. I really miss my family and a lesson learnt that year that family matters the most, and every effort has got to be done to ensure you are at least together celebrating Eid – period. Not too bad tho, since there’re Askar and friends coming from Bintulu to celebrate with us.
first raya in Miri
Road Drive to KK, Chinese New Year – Mar 2009
Early 2009, i’ve got a taste of what people doing offshore and i got lots of it. There’re this one project i got which demands me to go for daily trips every day in some weeks, and i’m sick of it. That’s when Shima and her bestfriend Ayen suggesting for a road trip to KK. The trip would take 13 hours driving (inclusive of stops, lost and some goddamn checkpoint inter Sarawak, Brunei and Sabah). It involves waiting for a ferry to fetch our cars to cross a 20 m wide river for real! At that time you would be thinking what the hell the government is doing. Nevertheless, i got to see KK for the first time and it is plain awesome – you would be thinking to move here after SKO. They got full array of shopping malls, night time leisure for those who seeking it, cheap stalls for eating, and various places of interest. Now at least I got Seed or Padini for my closet. Moving here would mean more white water rafting, beaches and hiking! I can’t remember the feeling anymore, since the last hike was back in 2007 in UTP. Looking back, it is a good memory at the 3 beaches which is so close to the city. Later that year i’m going back to KK and that time i’m with Donut’s friend. Still awesome. I miss KK.
di Malukan kot ni - gmbr dr Sepul
My First Car, Come Meet Lily Apr 2009
This amazing moment in my life happens outta sad day of going back from my first few trips in early January. I got back when there are no phone, no coins and i’m quite shy to ask for help. I’m not a big fan of asking favour from others especially if they’re totally stranger. So, what happen is i opt for a walk back home from Pulau Melayu. Being new, I had no ideas how much walk i would be doing. The first few steps looks like ok- only if you’re walking in a bright sunny day with breezes. We’re not talking about that here. I’m walking in a dark night alone with dogs barking. I concludes that this couldn’t be happening anymore and i should own a car. That way i won’t be asking for help from anyone. The walks end without me getting home. There’s this Shell guard letting me his phone when i was half way walking and i call Saiful Aslim to fetch me. That’s why i will always be in debt to this very humble man. Now, enough of why i take a car. Why i pick Neo is different matters, just a childhood dream to own a Satria. Meet Lily!
Now it's been in 2 'minor' accident - what would you expect?
to be continued!
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Open Letter to the One
Our judgement can be clouded when the so-called gut and heart take turns to play dice. What if, your gut, your heart actually bull shitting you?
Hence, my dear. Just say what you need to say coz i won’t be rambling any further.
I want to die living. Nuff said.
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The Great Escape
Of all 5 years spent in UTP, there’s no single minute i would think i may extend the years of studying. It’s suffice to say it would be unthinkable. Let’s say, another semester past the ideal time you should finish your Bachelor degree, it will become 5 years and a half.
There are people who genuinely think it’s OK. Friend of mine generally forms a large number of student thinking that. I couldn’t agree more. The more time you spent studying mean the more time you can do whatever you please and not being conscious of the effect. We don’t have to be fucking wake up early at 700 am to get ready and get our ass to the Chores.
i wish i'll be living this moment day in day out, shit
And perhaps, more time finding your music soul mate, similar tune loving drummer or guitarist i always wanting to get to know of. Writing things that would not be so awkward when you put progression behind them. There will be thousand reason why spending more time in college is actually beneficial for me.
I did not think that far off.
You see, i always think i’m lucky and the history shows that. everytime. i never got a B grade in all Civil Exam during my schooling years, however bad i wish to. It’s simply not happening.
It’s like wanting you’d be terrible in basketball, or any sport in particular so you won’t waste your precious time sweating and moaning at your strain ankle when your team suddenly needs extra players and you’re the only seemed-fit guy who can be in the court without looking that much dorky and realize the sport is simply not for you.
I hope I was bad on my schooling years so it will shows some progress when i pull it. Some achievement just pulling off The Great Escape.
Look, I’m a good kid like any nerdy would be 5 years ago*. It’s just that i mix with different type of kids back then. Different than how i use to. Let’s say, I don’t do well being youth with options. It’s not that i’m regretting i have those options. I just think that it’s better if i start out not a straight A student, cause if that’s the case than i’ll be super proud with The Great Escape.
There are two elements in The Great Escape which are so appealing i wouldn’t believe i can graduate in time during the final exam.
Firstly, the cram ol thesis that all vying degree holder need to present, properly bind them with strict coloring covers. And they have specific font and arrangement too. Wait, they even had the standard fuckin thickness. I wish it wouldn’t be pressed onto anything more stupid than that. The idea of uniformity, while it is said to be breeding discipline, is not really suit me. Everyone is special and why we would just be ignored on our uniqueness.
Or so i think, back then.
Secondly, as a result of pulling out on a subject called Vibration during my third year, I need to be available again to take the subject at the final year. It nearly cost me the graduation, as i know nothing about gyration and frequencies and i hate it.
That’s the reason i set it off for wasteland the first time around and precisely i cannot think on any reason why it will be any different the second time. I’m thinking hard during the first class, and somehow convinced that the difference now is that i’m motivated to learn something hard, something new even it will be close to not applicable at all during my entire life.**
How I was wrong.
Pulling The Great Escape is not something easy or light hearted would enjoy to do. It requires vast amount of slacking off until the fraction second of the very last minute, and being damn confidence with the shit. This is particularly right to justify my escape with the thesis. While it is a two semester work, i find it little more interesting to be done in a one full night total work. During my final presentation, i still printing my last copy of report, (the folk helping me was the same guy being in my workplace now, occasionally reminding me of how crap i’am back then) letting my slot goes off until the final student is due for presentation. I mumbled something (of course it’s a bluff) and i remember talking with highest, coldest voice i could do. It is as if i want the people across the hall way at UFO (actually a library crammed up with The Hall) hears me and shouting cut the crap. It’s not on purpose. You see i want every words enters Prof X’s ears like AK47 he would not be able to think on layers. Not on layers as the first layers is so complicated he wave a white flag. “I’m not an expert in manufacturing simulation though i can relay some comments”.
I figure out later (I mean years after that) that it’s part of why The Great Escape become possible. Another reason is that i miss my own slot, Prof X is actually late for his class and he has very limited time to assess crap and idealistic papers. Eventually, with the prowess of sounding complicated he succumbed into the trap. Maybe he actually thinks my paper was worth it. Which in that case i could not name this post Great Escape. It would be…hmmm. Let’s say, Monumental Result with Tiny Effort.
Second element is supposed to be secret. There’s people dropped of the school resulting of this way of escaping the exams gloriously (anything not D & E – it’s glorious). It just happen that i am being in the right time and the right place. I saw some papers and it somehow resembles the real one. Oh shit!
I’m glad now and i’m sincerely believe i wont be needing to do any kind of that stunt anymore in my working life.
It’s too damaging to keep on doing it.
*because this is the writing i write in 2008, i think i will retain the periodic distance just for my memory =)
** this is the so called new spirit in my thinking, as during that time (2008), The Great Accident just broke off which is described in as-if-in-a-dream.
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You’re the man
I had rarely praise myself. But the above statement is dedicated to me.
I woke up at 4.15, going for a quick bath and start driving to office. I mumbled everything that need to be done today. (read need to be) but not always will be done. It’s a long process of accepting glitches of plans and now i subconsciously think that there will be the thing off my to-do-list that I won’t be having even 1% of finishing them.
Poor me, i struggle to keep up my demanding cries of buckle up by a lot of others. Those chanting makes me sick. I want to scream out loud from my smoky lung, in my native language, i guess it’s ok i puke myself away.
Later on the puke. There’s a story between me and puke. We’ll come to that again.
I need to bring my workpack, but shit I finished out my most important workpack giving them to others. Luckily i can make do with a simple procedure i had been asking before.
I couldn’t find my thumbdrive. Shit. Luckily I found one in fanucci’s place and quickly call him, 4.50 in the morning. Gosh, he’s like an angel. Just that he won’t cut it being an angel. A ransom bodyguard fits him better.
I know i won’t be finishing a lot of things I mumbled first day in the morning. I will get to them in separate post.
God send some reminder for me. I promise myself to always learn, as life long learning is my motto for awhile back in 2008. During those time, I’m still very much in awe of global movement that seemed like they’re on their on. But, they’re not. These groups walk in line every evening talking about stuffs people so rarely thinks now. At least, for me.
Next hour, after seeing all my hotdog bread at pulau melayu gone with the wind, i find myself talking about learning opportunities. I will, do that.
2 presentations later, i move to a workbarge that will be accommodating a lot of my welding sets, oxy-acetelene torch, nitrogen bottle, degreaser and what not.
Actually i don’t know what’s more than that.
Halfway through the day, i thought i imagining things when i heard scary eerie squeak from the front row seat of our fcb. Turns out my friend is aching of the sea swell. I become the mopper. It’s there such words??
It’s great just to write again. Although it’s crappy again like i always do. Never beats the shivers down my spine to finish my sentences with Paulo Coelho’s touch. I do a lot of things today, though some items i planned is dropped to later date, i still pretty much the man.
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Last time I write was when I just get my first job assignment (I still do, now). I seldom write as I couldn’t dig my inner self deep enough so to express myself clearly in words. I simply don’t have time. 8 hours is dedicated into a unique activity of managing consequences of actions. Fulfilling what people want, and embracing the need as tho it’s of our own. It’s like doing chores of repeating works but not necessarily important. Sometimes, you feel that you’re getting it, half way through, it become complete lame.
When I don’t write, I bitch about life in thoughts.
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Alisha
Hang on I cannot find your face,
kinda leave it to me,
u say did i want to catch you?
till our luck struck us through…
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Tags: ruang rindu
First calm week
Slow is for pessimist. I want to see it as soothing. Apart from high tower price for virtually all items, Miri is great. On the first day after the flight, we realized that we haven’t been briefed enough about our journey. Practically, the ‘briefing’ at KLCC the other day was only a small talk and ticket handover for flight in about 2 hours time. Imran and Se having a lot of rushing to do, as they havent even started packing!
Let’s have a few examples of prices here: 12′pcs plastic hanger cost rm16, roti canai kosong rm2.50, and taxi fare for approx 15km cost rm20 per trip. I’m hoping to check for other places for cheaper prices. Until then, I’m gonna wait to buy things in peninsula.
In the taxi on our way to SKO, i realized the traffic was perfect. You could only speed to about 50-70 km/h for most of the time. At last, ive find the place where i can peacefully drive.
The weather is not as hot (remember UTP?). But i didnt fall easily for those air-conditioner. The first day at the hotel, i turn them all off. Those, forced closed volume makes me fever-prone.
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The post should be about how i finally meet an end to my bachelor’s degree. I didnt write earlier for fear that i would stumble on my fyp and vibration (with only 7/40 for coursework). It turns out a miracle. I got B and C respectively, continuing the series of fortunate events that well showed me the power of The Universe.
June 2008, i unofficially graduated. At the last day of the semester, I had to undergo an interview. This interview is so significant I am judged wether I’m a useful resource or kids who don’t have attittude. I’m desperately vying for a Peninsular position but blurbed out ‘anywhere’, when asked about location preferred. Not all bad though, the ‘surface’ word that I got from azzad does come in handy.
I waited for 3 months (realizing its hard to find a job in the process) doing heavy sleeping. Its good that i didnt consume much and my weight did not buckle. The end of waiting period ended with an expected command to be at Miri. The place I would be for certain years. I can almost see it right from the beginning. It’s a revelation to be at new place, however it will cost me many things. Unless a late miracle happen (which is my offer revoked and i’m placed in peninsula =) ) i will be reporting for duty this 2 sept and fly to the city i knew so little about.
Ok, Miri for one is the birth of oil exploration in Malaysia in 1914 by the former Shell. Next i knew that my once best friend Syaiful Alfraiza was there. Let’s hope he’s still there. However, with gratefulness in mind, i do still hope another miracle could resurface, adding my ‘streak of furtunate events’.
see u later!
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rob styles
